The day I said yes

I'm a mum of two, and I'm a funny mix. I'll take a big risk one minute and be a total scaredy cat the next. Brave and a bit of a chicken, all at once. But I like to think I'm tough. And I can't swim. Twice as a child I nearly drowned. Today, on the Riviera Maya, I put my face in the Caribbean Sea and watched sea turtles swim beneath me.

It wasn't on my itinerary. It wasn't on my bucket list either, though now I think it should have been. I just never thought it was something I could do.

Why water scares me

Here's the irony: I was born and raised in the Netherlands, where so much of the country sits below sea level that learning to swim is compulsory at primary school. But during those three years of school swimming, I had ear operations three years in a row to fit grommets. My doctor sent a letter to the school saying I wasn't allowed to swim, so I missed out completely, and I never learned to swim. After those two near-drownings as a little girl, I stopped trusting the water, and I find it really hard to trust anyone to keep me safe in it.

In a swimming pool I have one rule: the water stops at my collarbones, and my feet stay on the floor. On a good day I'll hold on to a float board and kick my legs. That's it. Deep water, open water, the sea? Never.

As a mum, that fear goes even deeper. Whenever my kids go in the water I'm on edge, because I know that if anything happened, I couldn't save them. That's why learning to swim has always been non-negotiable for them. I never want them to feel the way I do.

Spa or sea?

I'm out here on a Hyatt Inclusive Collection fam trip, visiting resorts across Cancun and the Riviera Maya. Today we did site visits at Secrets Tulum and Secrets Akumal, and then came a surprise activity. I could have chosen a hydrotherapy spa session. Warm, calm, dry land. Very me.

Instead I chose snorkelling in the ocean.

A quiet beach on the Riviera Maya, with palm trees and thatched palapas along the shore in the afternoon sun

Earlier in the day I'd been snapping away as usual, at Secrets Tulum and on the site tour at Secrets Akumal. But the moment they announced the surprise, the camera went away. My heart was pounding. I still had the choice to say no, and honestly, I very nearly did.

Learning to breathe

Before we went out, we practised in the shallows. My guide, Milena, showed me how to wear the mask, how to bite on the snorkel and breathe through my mouth, and how to float in a life vest with my legs up behind me instead of reaching for the floor.

I struggled. I panicked, more than once, and it was horrible. I was ready to give up. I told them, "I can't. I don't think I can do this by myself. I need to hold on to someone."

So Milena found a way. She tied a float ring, the donut, to herself. I held on to it and she swam, towing me along while I put my face in the sea. Chris, my host from Hyatt Inclusive Collection, held my hand and kept reassuring me. That's what got me out there: people saying "we've got you" and actually meaning it.

What I saw

I held on to that donut for dear life. My mask kept steaming up and I kept stopping to fix it. I swallowed seawater and had to spit the salt out. Controlling my breathing was a real struggle. But every time I put my face under, there was something there.

I saw sea turtles, two, maybe three. Honestly I was in such a state that I lost count. Gliding along like it was nothing. Around them were shoals of bright blue tang (yes, Dory!), a clownfish, and a stingray moving across the sandy bottom. And the coral reef itself was so beautiful, a whole little world I'd never have seen from the beach.

A sea turtle gliding over the reef in clear turquoise water Bright blue tang fish, the real-life Dory, swimming over a coral reef

It wasn't crystal clear through my foggy mask. But I saw it. I really saw it.

Back on the sand

I made it more than halfway round before I knew I had to stop. I felt like I might faint, so I asked to be taken back. Carlos, another of the guides, helped get me back in and practically pulled me up onto the beach.

When my feet touched the sand, my whole body was tingling. My face was numb. Then the emotions hit me all at once. I cried. I apologised to Chris, then thanked him, then apologised again. He made sure I had water straight away. The travel agents I'm on the trip with were so kind, giving me hugs and pats on the back.

Part of me felt like I was being dramatic. But hanging on that tightly, facing that much fear, had taken every bit of strength I had. It took me a good while to feel normal again.

Now, a few hours later, I know what it was. I was happy. A big, overwhelming kind of happy.

Sixteen months of saying yes

I launched Holidays by Vivian in July 2025. Sixteen months on, it's been the craziest year of my life. There have been fam trips, ship visits, awards and opportunities I never imagined. Most of them started the same way today did: with a knot in my stomach and a choice to say yes anyway.

Today reminded me that brave doesn't mean fearless. It means being scared, trusting the right people, and doing it anyway. It also means knowing when to say "that's enough for today" and being proud of how far you got.

I'm proud of myself. I don't say that often.

If you're a nervous swimmer too

If you've always thought snorkelling isn't for you, here's what helped me, and what I'd tell any client:

  • Go with a guide. Having someone right beside you who's watching only you makes all the difference.
  • Use a float. A ring or life vest means you never have to swim. You just float and look.
  • Practise in the shallows first. Get used to breathing through the snorkel while you can still stand up.
  • Tell them you're nervous. Good guides slow right down when they know.
  • Sort your mask. Ask for an anti-fog treatment and keep hair out of the seal. A foggy mask makes it much harder to relax.
  • Turn back whenever you want. Halfway is still a win.
  • Give the turtles space. Look, don't touch, and let them swim on their own way.

The photo I didn't take

The group in blue life vests and snorkel masks standing in the shallows at Akumal, with a sailing boat moored behind them

There's no underwater footage and no perfect shot. Just the memory, and this one group photo. Maybe that's how it was meant to be.

Thank you to Milena for towing me round, to Carlos for getting me back to shore, to Chris and everyone at Hyatt Inclusive Collection for believing in me before I believed in myself, and to the lovely travel agents on this trip for cheering me on. I will never forget today.

Stay tuned for the rest of my site visits across Cancun and the Riviera Maya. I'll be sharing my honest take on each resort and who it suits best.

If you'd love to see the turtles of Akumal for yourself, whether you're a strong swimmer or holding on to a float like me, get in touch. I'll help you plan it.